“He Accepts Her as She is”
A parent reflects on how horses have been transformative for her daughter.
By Kimberly Loushin
4 Minute Read
When Lindsay Charlefour’s daughter Lolin first announced, “I’m going to ride horses when I’m 6,” Lindsay and her husband were quite surprised. “Lo” hadn’t shown much interest in horses until then; in fact, she was scared of them. But as Lo’s sixth birthday approached, she remained steadfast in her insistence that she would start riding, so Lindsay started hunting for a barn.
She wasn’t sure how Lo’s first ride would go, but Lindsay had grown up in a family who prioritized making memories, and she didn’t want to regret not trying to introduce Lo to horses. But Lindsay couldn’t have guessed how transformative that choice would prove to be.
Lo showed some trepidation their first trip to Amanda Agemak’s Willow Tree Stables in Romulus, Mich., where she groomed her steady partner Hot Rod for just a second or two at a time before stepping back. Though she was fighting nerves, her desire to be around horses prevailed, and six years later, horses have become an integral part of her life, and in many ways, it’s therapy.
When Lo was 5 years old, she was diagnosed with coordination disorder, ADHD, and Graves’ disease, an autoimmune disease where the thyroid gland produces excessive hormones, which affects her emotional regulation. As a recreational therapist, who uses art, music, and sports as therapeutic modalities, Lindsay has seen horses benefit everyone from veterans dealing with PTSD, to seniors with dementia, and those recovering from brain injuries, and believed they could help her daughter.
With Agemak’s direction, first Hot Rod, and now Levi, have helped Lo make tremendous strides as she learns about horses and the sport of dressage.
“Levi is so patient,” Lindsay said of the horse Lo currently rides. “I know in my heart he accepts her as she is.”
Even when Lo is struggling with her emotions and normal challenges like late transitions or a fall frustrate her more than most riders, Levi has remained steadfast and unfazed. When she needed to take a minute out of the ring following her first fall, he kept his attention on her, letting her know he was there. His steady presence and lack of judgment have been huge for Lo, especially as she navigates becoming a teenager.
“He’s there when she’s having a bad day, and with every lesson they build confidence together,” said Lindsay. “She’s said that when she’s riding him, she’s so focused on him and Amanda that it takes all the other problems and worries away. That she feels free and happy.”
“He’s there when she’s having a bad day, and he’s given her that confidence.”
Lindsay Charlefour
Even when Lo is struggling with her emotions and normal challenges like late transitions or a fall frustrate her more than most riders, Levi has remained steadfast and unphased. When she needed to take a minute out of the ring following her first fall, he kept his attention on her, letting her know he was there. His steady presence and lack of judgment have been huge for Lo, especially has she navigates becoming a teenager.
“He’s there when she’s having a bad day, and he’s given her that confidence,” said Lindsay. “She’s said that when she’s riding him, she’s so focused on him and Amanda that it takes all the other problems and worries away. That she feels free and happy.”
It’s also taught Lo plenty of life lessons. She’s learned that riding and horses are a privilege not to be taken for granted, it requires a lot of hard work. Those lessons include realizing that sometimes her own plans and goals have to be put on hold because they’re not in the best interest of the horse.
“One thing I appreciate so much about the experience with Amanda and Willow Tree is that Lo is looking up to hardworking women,” said Lindsay. “She’s learning that everyone is working hard to make this work, and the horses come first, and you have to take care of them.”
Horses and a welcoming barn family have also helped Lo learn to interact with the world around her in a more positive manner.
“Seeing her being able to say hi to other people who are showing and giving compliments, saying ‘Great job,’ is amazing,” said Lindsay. “I’ve watched her blossom and understand what a beautiful sport it is.”
While the Charlefour family weren’t involved with horses before Lo declared she wanted to ride, the barn has become an important place for all of them. Lindsay enjoys every minute she spends in the fresh air with Lo and would do anything for the horses who have given her daughter so much. Brian and their son are always ready to lend a helping hand at the barn, volunteering to do evening chores when Agemak needed some extra help.
They’re all grateful for what Agemark, and particularly Levi has given Lo.
“Levi is worth his weight in gold to us,” said Lindsay. “He might be a lesson horse, but he has changed my daughter’s lives and impacted our lives. Lo can do so much more because of him. They’re a team, and Lo knows what a partner is. They have a partnership, and it’s beautiful.”
Lindsay could’ve never imagined how saying yes to her daughter’s request to start riding would have such a positive impact on the entire family. But it’s one yes, she’ll never regret saying.