“His Kindness and Patience Has Allowed Me to Achieve What Once Felt Impossible”
Sara Norris Kamerer found renewed confidence through her horse following chronic illness.
By Sara Norris Kamerer
2 Minute Read
In the summer of 2022, almost a year after the devasting loss of my previous horse, I took a leap of faith. With the encouragement of my husband and the help of a trusted agent, I decided to import a horse I had never personally met. The day the trailer delivered him was the first time I had ever laid eyes on the big, black gelding that would change my life.
One of the requirements for any new horse was that it was comfortable to sit on as I had been dealing with lower back and hip pain for years, nothing unusual for lifelong riders. I had largely ignored the pain, but when my limbs began going numb and trembling in the saddle, I started to seek answers. Initially I was told pinched nerves and slipped discs, but normal nerve conduction tests suggested otherwise. I was struggling to ride my new horse comfortably and even light rides left me feeling exhausted.
I have always been an active person, yet daily menial tasks outside of the barn became increasingly difficult and riding began to feel nearly impossible. My commute to the barn left my stiff, sore, and so tired, yet I continued to show up and to try and my darling horse continued to try and understand my strange aids and deal with my imbalances in the saddle without a moment of protest.
I began physical therapy to address my pain and limb weakness, and it was my physical therapist who first suggested I see a rheumatologist. That first appointment in the spring of 2023 began my descent into learning to live with chronic illness. After a litany of tests, I was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis, an incurable, progressive inflammatory auto immune arthritis that primarily attacks the lower back and hips.
Being slapped with a chronic illness in my 40s when I finally had a horse I dreamed of felt like a cruel joke. I began looking for riders like me, joining online groups and doing Google searches. It seemed that anyone dealing with auto immune issues and chronic pain lightened their riding or stopped altogether, but neither of those options seemed viable to me at the time. I was still determined to make it into the FEI ring and carry a full-time training schedule to make it happen.
Kamerer and "Dancer" have built a strong partnership since she bought him without meeting him in person.
Horses have helped Kamerer through all of her health challenges.
Despite medication, I was still in a great deal of pain and constantly exhausted, and in the fall of 2024, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. A new medication was added, and I began having more good days than bad. In 2025, I finally cantered down centerline in my first Prix St. Georges and earned my USDF silver medal, a dream come true!
That July, after a spectacular lesson and days before heading to another competition, I got a call no horse owner ever wants to get — my horse was colicking. We found ourselves en route to the equine hospital, and within 30 minutes of our arrival, my horse was on the table for surgery. Despite extreme fatigue and pain, I stayed up all night, watching the surgery and being there when he woke up. I made the five-hour round trip every day to visit him until he came home. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I embraced the time to stand by him in his recovery as he had been standing by me. It became our collective goal, looking after both of our wellbeing. Yet the stress of continued care and a few scary episodes left me completely drained.
Months after starting him back under saddle, I once again began experiencing tremors and was struggling with my coordination in and out of the saddle. I was sent to neurology and escalated to Cleveland Clinic where I was diagnosed with Functional Neurological Disorder and Functional Movement Disorder. FND is described as a software issues, meaning my brain no longer clearly communicates with my limbs. FND symptoms can strike any time the central nervous system feels stressed, and for a rider, this is far from ideal. You can go from feeling confident and competent one moment, to feeling like you've never been on a horse a day in your life.
"Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I embraced the time to stand by him in his recovery as he had been standing by me."
Sara Norris Kamerer
Outside of the saddle, my FND causes me to fall, tremor, drop and bump into things. Occasionally, I "forget" how to do things that aren't a second thought to most people, like how to get into a car or how to go up the stairs, and it takes a tremendous amount of mental power to control my limbs to complete an easy task that can leave me feeling exhausted which then makes my FND symptoms worse. It can be a vicious cycle. On good days, I struggled to keep my feet in the stirrups and hands steady on the reins. On bad days, I couldn't cue even the simplest of aids. Yet my horse continued to show up and eventually learned my strange ways.
After a particularly terrible show were my symptoms were quite bad, I reached out to the USPEA asking where someone like me belonged when I don't meet the strict criteria for para nor am I able-bodied. Ellie Brimmer kindly replied and suggested I apply for the adaptive aid program. With the help of my neurologist, I gathered my medical information and applied. Within in eight weeks, I was approved for magnetic stirrups and a head-nod salute so I don't have to readjust my grip. Things began to vastly approve, removing the distraction and frustration of constantly losing my stirrups was a game changer for my FND. It allows me to focus on my horse more and myself less. With the addition of my aids, my scores improved as did my relationship with my horse.
"My horse has been instrumental in keeping me going. Without him I wouldn't have a reason to keep trying, to keep improving."
Sara Norris Kamerer
Our rides became more harmonious, our time together more enjoyable and our lessons more productive. My horse has been instrumental in keeping me going. Without him I wouldn't have a reason to keep trying, to keep improving. It would be easy to fall into a "poor me" mentality, though it has never been my nature. Instead, I focus on how fortunate I am to have a horse many dream of, a support system in and out of the barn that supports me, and that I get to continue doing what I had grown up dreaming of — riding and spending time with horses.
Young me longed for days at the barn, the soft muzzle of horses and the joy of being around them, riding or not. Now I get to live that life and while it doesn't quite look like what I had imagined, it is still a dream come true. I am forever thankful to my horse, whose kindness and patience has allowed me to achieve what once felt impossible. I am also thankful to my chronic illnesses as they have made me remember why I started riding in the first place, for the sheer love of the horse. The ribbons and scores are nice, but the sound of my horse's greeting, his kind eyes and heart, and his true joy in connection outside of the saddle is everything.
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Photos: Moments Captured, Sara Norris Kamerer